Conversations in a dental chair and other things

I had an appointment at the dentist yesterday to get my teeth cleaned. It wasn’t my regular dentist or even his assistant who did the cleaning, but someone totally new. While she was cleaning, the following conversation took place:

(H = hygenist, M = Me)

H: So, do you have kids?
M: (oh god…here we go again) Nope.
H: You’re lucky.
M: We’ve been trying for 3 1/2 years.
H: Oh, so you probably want them.
M: (Duh) Yeah, but we can’t have them.
H: You could always adopt. There are lots of children that need homes.
M: (oh my god…where do people get off?) Well, if I had $18K just sitting around with nothing else to do with it, I’d certainly contemplate it.
H: Oh my! I had no idea it cost that much!
M: Once you include lawyer fees and agency fees and all the paperwork and home studies…yeah, it does. It’s only slightly less expensive to adopt out of country.
H: You’d think that with so many kinds needing places to go it wouldn’t be so expensive. I personally know 3 couples who’ve adopted children from…China, I think.
M: (Congrats lady – I know a whole community) It’s just not feasible for us.
H: Well, you could always borrow my 14 year old for a week. I guarantee you won’t want kids after that.
M: (sits in silence so as not to scream at her about the teens living in her house, or the pregnant friend with her second child on the way or the pregnant lady living in her house)

Where do people get off? It’s really odd that this conversation took place when it did because I had just gotten done reading this story in the local paper. It’s about people who have large families and the looks/comments they get…and how society feels free to barge in on a personal decision such as that. Or the lack of children. If you have no children, people pity you. If you have one, people always ask when you are having the next one. If you have three, people make comments like “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Why do you have so many?” or some such. Society likes us having our 2 kids…and that’s it.

Today is our 4 year anniversary! We’re staying here tonight, in the Carriage Room (I think). Aaron took tomorrow off so we could spend the day together. Some days I can’t believe we’ve made it this far. I’m so blessed to have him for a husband. He understands me so well…most of the time. Mom says he’s the perfect husband for me – and I think she’s right (as usual).

Life is so packed right now. In between work and school, the drywallers are coming over the next 3 days to put the wall back up behind my washing machine and dryer. Mom is coming up tomorrow and staying for 5 days. I have a lab exam tomorrow for which I am woefully prepared because I’ve been spending so much time trying to fix everything else. I meet with my back doctor today to discuss the next step in treatment…which involves putting leads inside my vertebrae and connected to my spinal column, which are then attached to a generator. The generator blocks the pain signal coming from the specific area that hurts. I don’t know that I want to do this, but I don’t have much choice anymore. Sometime next week the floor guy should be coming in to finish my kitchen floor.

Just 6 more weeks until Thanksgiving break…I think. Maybe THEN I can breathe a little.

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  1. Jess

     /  September 26, 2007

    Oh my, I would have beat that hygenist. I’m glad you were frank with her, at least. She should have really taken the hint at the “we can’t have kids” comment and shut up. Weirdo.People, I swear.

  2. What is it with dental hygienists? I had a similar talk with one a week ago at my cleaning. She knows I got married last year so of course she was asking about kids and when I said I had 2 miscarriages, she said she had miscarried and she has gone on to have 3 kids. Yippee for her! And her nugget of knowledge was…you guessed it…I’m young and have PLENTY of time! I wanted to punch her so badly.Anywho, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I hope its a great one 🙂

  3. Oh my, and I thought my dental chair encounter was bad! All I got was a comment that people who use fertility drugs “could end up with 4.”Where do people get off? If you figure that one out, let me know!Happy Anniversary! You’ve got each other, and though infertility makes it hard to remember sometimes, that is worth a pile of gold.

  4. Happy Anniversary!!!!I have a kind of similar story from yesterday on my blog… damn people need to learn to keep their mouths shut!and HOLY KRAP!?!?! Only 6 weeks til T-Day???? ack!

  5. Ms Jen???? You ok??? Just popping in to check on you, its been awhile….


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