Angry? It’s all in your head….

*looks at the last post*
*reads about “getting anger under control”*
*falls down laughing*

I love how I can deceive myself so well. It turns out that the only reason I was calmer was because of the Cymbalta. I got off schedule with it during March and ended up just quitting. Within a week I was raging again, picking fights, being stubborn and ending up getting hurt. Getting so angry with my husband that I actually cornered him in the kitchen, screaming so loud I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t hear us, and slapped at him a good half-dozen times. He easily fended me, of course, and it didn’t hurt him…but…it’s not good.

As a result, I marched my ass into the doctor, told him I was crazy as all fuck, and he needed to get me on something I could take at night. See, my morning schedule is never the same – I don’t get up at the same time, I don’t eat at the same time (or hardly ever, for that matter). My night schedule is the same though – take pills, go to sleep. So adding an additional pill to that routine is no big. Enter the amitriptyline again. I’ve been on this before. It works well for depression, chronic pain, and usually sleep. Only…after about a week or two, it stops helping me sleep. Not sleeping causes the pain and depression to worsen, thereby rending the pill almost worthless. So I quit taking it when I stopped sleeping. I have since decided that was stupid idea, and got the doc to put me back on it. That was March 26th – and as of 4 days ago, I stopped sleeping again. Ugh. At least I have some stuff to combat that now, so I’m going to keep taking “amy” and hope it helps. Huh…never did I think I would reach the point where I actually begged a doc to medicate me so I didn’t “have a nutty” as Wilma puts it.

On a funny note: When I was leaving the docs office, he told me (semi-joking) that I am not allowed to commit any violent crimes between then and the time I next see him. That leads me to believe that I am allowed to be violent as long as it’s not criminal, and I can commit crimes as long as they aren’t violent.

So far, I think I’m ok. I did completely lose my temper the other night during a raid with my guild in WoW and bitch out a 13-year-old because he was doing stupid shit. I also happened to do that over voice, where everyone in the run could hear me. Talk about embarrassing! Of course, his father (who is our guild master) reamed me and then tried to offer an olive branch. I warned him I was in no head space to accept anything, but he kept pushing. I finally told him to f*ck off and put him on my ignore list. Not that smartest thing to do to your GM… *head desk* Lucky me, he knew I was on a tear and didn’t boot me. I apologized to his son and everyone else who heard me the next day, and the GM when I later saw him. As I was talking to DH that night, while having a complete meltdown, we came up with the perfect mental image of what it’s like when I’m angry: picture an octopus, sitting on it’s underside, spinning rapidly in place with the tentacles flying everywhere, striking anyone in distance. DH has gotten very good at ducking and avoiding – says he’s had a lot of practice.

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Request for information: I have a forum friend who is not quite 2 months pregnant. She sent me a message the other day that said “Can you think of any reason intercourse would HURT LIKE HELL right now, cuz of cramps? Like menstrual cramps, until I orgasm and then it’s more like contraction cramps…moves from left-center to just center. Also, doesn’t hurt much if I’m on top.” I told her I’d put a call out for information, knowing that my readers (those die-hards who still check on me from time to time) are wonderful people who might be able to help.

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3 Comments

  1. Jess

     /  April 10, 2009

    At least your doctor is helping? I hope things improve for you.As for the WoW rant…it had me smiling. Mostly because my husband is a freaking geek and spends every night doing raids with his headset on and I thought he was the only one (ok, I WANTED to think he was the only one.). I used to really enjoy it, too, but haven’t really played in forever. In fact I’m pretty sure he cancelled my account. lolAs for your pg friend….If she’s cramping/contracting I’d def say no sex. Pelvic rest. And a call to the dr. HOWEVER, I want to say that starting around that point and well after the kid I actually birthed was born sex was a no. As in HURT HURT HURT. about 2-3m to 4m postpartum. It hurt enough that we didn’t do it. And then after we COULDN’T do it. It seemed to be hormones because it got better…slowly.Good luck to her!

    Reply
  2. Her cervix is tender and the prostaglandins in semen cause cramps. The penis is probably hitting the cervix and causing the pain, which is why it doesn’t hurt when she’s on top. She’s able to control the positioning. The cervix has no nerve endings, so she won’t feel the penis hitting it, but she will feel the pain (cramps) caused by the manipulation. I would also see what the doctor recommends. (Was a labor nurse for a long time!) Hope this helps! Good luck.

    Reply
  3. Your friend? Totally normal. I had the same thing with both of my pregnancies. If she does a quick google search her fears should allayed. Also, some of the pregnancy books mention this as well.

    Reply

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