The results are in…already.

I got a call about 2 1/2 hours ago from the docs office.

“Where are you?” the nurse says. “Home”, I replied, a bit puzzled. “Are you sitting down?” she says. “Yes, I’m in the living room on the couch. Oh God, please don’t tell me I’m pregnant” I say as I begin to panic. “Yes, honey, you’re pregnant!” cheerfully replies the wonderful nurse.

4816 is the number. I’m about 5 weeks along. This is my mothers fault – hers, and the rheumatologist. See, when they put me on the latest drug that I am (was) taking, he warned me that the drug makes you infertile. HA! I told him we were infertile already and it would take a miracle. He replied with “Well, miracles do happen, even when they aren’t necessarily welcome.” I laughed. I shouldn’t have. And my mother? Well, before she died and was still…sane, we were discussing how Aaron and I were done, we were happy with our lives. And my wonderful, dear mother said “You know you’ll have your first one at 33, because you wanted to be done at 30.” And? Well, I turned 33 last month, 3 days before my last cycle started. I think I need to have a talk with my mother about staying out of my sex life, just like I did when I was a teen.

I always swore I would never tell anyone until 1st tri was over, but I’ve been telling everyone. I need support. I’m freaking out. I don’t have my mommy, and I don’t think I can handle my MIL hovering over me. She’s going to be ecstatic. At one point she complained to my SIL that she was never going to get to have grandbabies because we couldn’t have them and my SIL was dating (now married to) a man who was snipped. She said this OUT of my hearing, but SIL reported it to me because she was furious. I am already going to have to lay ground rules for the MIL – no smoking anywhere near me, nor the baby once it is born (assuming I make it that far). She’s not going to like it, but I am not going to do anything to jeopardize this one.

I’m freaked. I am alternating between “I need a crib! A carseat! We’re going to have to rearrange the house, and what about the animals?” and “I need to eat better. I don’t think a coke and cookies counts as a healthy breakfast.” I’m terrified that my period is going to show up after all. I don’t think I can handle it if it does. I am so lost right now….

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13 Comments

  1. First, SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE with excitement! WOOHOO & CONGRATULATIONS!

    Second, BREATHE! I can relate to the panic, to the “I can't do this without ____” and the need to lay down a million and one ground rules. But really, all you need to do right now, is take care of you. The rest will somehow work itself out.

    And last, SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE again, just cuz I couldn't resist! I'm SO excited for you!

    Reply
  2. Jess

     /  July 30, 2010

    HOLY FREAKING COW!!!!!

    I am ridiculously hopeful for you. But wow, so scary! Hope is always scary to me! And I want good things so bad for you!

    IMOB is right…all you need to do right now is deal and put one foot in front of the other. There's plenty of time, and when the time comes, if you need advice, you know where to email me at! 😀

    TIGGER! !!!!!

    Reply
  3. One day at a time…and YAY!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!

    Reply
  4. Squeee! So happy for you! Just. Remember to breathe, it'll be fantastic!

    Reply
  5. Oh Tigger! I am so farkin happy to read this news!! I kow just what you are feeling right now too. This is wonderful news and just keep reminding yourself, “this baby happened without any medical intervention whatsoever” and enjoy it. I am not going to tell you “relax” but I am going to tell you congratulations!

    Reply
  6. OMG!!! Congrats!! I've been following your blog forever and I'm so happy for you!

    Reply
  7. Congratulations!! Enjoy the now, the future can't be told.

    Reply
  8. CONGRATULATIONS! Take it one day at a time – wishing you a perfect healthy pregnancy.

    Reply
  9. That is fantastic!

    I have fibro myself, and have had one pregnancy so far. It was flared during 3rd tri but managable. My formula was TENS unit, physical therapy, massage. My Perinatologist says gabapentin or Lyrica can be taken during pregnancy- but they haven't been studied much.

    Reply
  10. So happy to see this!! Congrats!

    Reply
  11. What a fantastic surprise!!!!

    I love miracle BFP they are the best kind.

    Reply
  12. OMG!!! I remember you from the WebMD boards (right? pretty sure that's right!) and lost track of you and OHMYGAWD THIS IS AWESOME! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

    Reply
  13. Holy cr@p!! I go away on vacation & all hell breaks loose! ; ) Wow! Congratulations!!

    Reply

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