Christmas was…Christmas. We have pictures, but they suck. My MIL took them and she apparently doesn’t know how to operate a camera effectively. They’re all blurry, and only half there, and…I was busy watching the Boy unwrap his presents to remember to take some pics with my phone. So, no pics of his first Christmas here. We also had a very cute outfit for him, but by the time we even got the stockings done he had managed to spill half of his bottle down it and there wasn’t time to wash and dry it before the inlaws came over. My dad did come up, though, and we made a pie. It was YUMMY!

I have 2 doc appts tomorrow. One is with my rheumatologist, who will do a med check and a blood check…which is good, because I’m pretty sure one of the meds has stopped working. Probably the one that actually controls the fibro, not the pain, since it’s my skin that is hurting again. I really shouldn’t be surprised. The other doc put me on a new brain med that gives similar side effects to one I used to take – and that old one and the fibro one canceled each other out. BOTH stopped working, instead of (oddly) boosting each other. If my choices are “be crazy in the head” and “have skin feel like it’s massively sunburned when you scratch an itch”, I’ll take the latter, thanks. So now I get to talk to both of them, see what we want to do about this. I don’t know if there’s many other options!

I’ve been hiding again. There’s a lot to say, but I don’t wanna. My husband has decided to go on a self-improvement kick, which only serves to make me feel even lazier and slothful in comparison. He’s ramping up on hygiene and getting better clothes – don’t get me wrong, it’s a good thing to take pride in one’s appearance, and I don’t mind having a well-kept husband. But…there are so many things about me that I can’t fix. There’s no point in getting me awesome dressy clothes when all I do is take care of the child and go to school (which is starting in about 10 days). I have gained back almost all of the weight I lost after being pregnant, and have ended up 12 pounds heaver than my pre-pregnancy weight. Me and losing weight do not work well together, thanks to the aforementioned fibro and the spinal arthritis. I feel like I’m in a permanent catch-22. I should exercise because it will help me feel better, but I hurt too much to do anything, but if I do something I will feel better, but… yeah, you get it.

I also have a “condition management” call set up for tomorrow between doctor appointments. That should be fun. *end sarcasm* It’s through our insurance, whee! They do this thing with points – if you meet X points, you get X off your insurance premium. We do a health assessment and evaluation, the results of which give us points based on where we fell on the scale. I actually did pretty good on it, but still need some – and that’s where the call comes in. There is an option to have “coaching” calls. Last year it was stress management that I chose, and I seriously regret it. I HATED that woman. She did NOT listen in the least, repeated the same things over and over, never offered suggestions, made ME come up with goals (if I could set goals, I’d be good, but I suck at it…so if someone else sets them, I’m better at keeping to them). I don’t hold out much hope, though. The first call I got to discuss my results was fine – except that the person who called to schedule me for the condition management thinks I want to be in the “back pain” one. My response to that was “Not really, but I do HAVE back pain so I suppose it will work. I really don’t care.” The person who will be calling me is a fitness person – fabulous. I made it a point to ask the scheduler to notate that I request the scheduler to have researched FMS and be familiar with is, as I really don’t want to have to educate my coaches. I CAN, I just prefer not to. You’re a coach – know who and what you are coaching! So it will be…interesting…to see how that call goes. I swear, if she tells me to just get out there and exercise more, I may just hang up on her. Okay, probably not, because that’s just rude AND I want my points, but I will really really want to!

Ok, dinner is done and the Boy needs a butt changing. Off to the real world I go…again.

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1 Comment

  1. Ah, yes, isn’t it tons of fun being in the ‘if it’s either/or, please fix THIS’ boat? You know I’m not gonna criticize you for hiding. That’d sure be hypocrisy in action!

    That stress management lady sounds like the counselor my employer gave me three sessions with when I found out about the affair. I totally hated him. He actually told me to ‘snap out of it.’ And these people get paid to do this!!! I hope this one is a leetle better.

    Good luck with the real world!


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