Seriously, dad? (and other things)

I’ve been composing this post in my head for a few days, hoping I would calm down and/or have a different outlook. I don’t. I’m only getting angrier, so I figured I’d better do what I do best when I’m angry and write.

My dad is a workaholic. He worked long hours for most of my childhood – yes, he worked on a farm, and yes, I know they have long hours. He managed to make it to my awards ceremonies one a year for school. He might make it when I was showing my animals at the Fair every year. Most of the time, he was working and God forbid he take time off. Even when sick, he’d work unless my mother forced him to stay home. Which? Didn’t happen very often. He’s stubborn, seriously stubborn. When I was pregnant with The Boy, I told dad when my due date was and he was all “well, I hope it happens on one of my days off so I can come up there.” Really? And then, of course, you can’t actually predict when children will arrive. We TRIED to get this child out on his due date and he flat refused. They had to go in and get him a week later, if you’ll recall. I called dad when they were doing the first one, and then with the second one. They broke my water so I couldn’t leave and I TOLD my father that – my water is broken, the child is arriving even if they have to go get him. And still – he wouldn’t take time off. He wouldn’t go to his managers and say “my only daughter is in labor with her only child – I would like to go up there now please”. Didn’t even TRY. Which, in hindsight, is probably good because we were in the hospital for a week…but that’s not the point. It’s the principle of the matter.

My dad retired this past September. The last month and a half was full of “I only have X more days. They’re lucky I don’t just walk out sooner.” and the like. Hell, most of his time working there was “They can’t do anything right. They don’t respect me.They want me to do this and I refuse. I should just retire, because I can, even though it’s early.” I wondered how long his retirement would last. He said he was happy retiring, that he wasn’t going to work any more. Well, dad is going back to work in a few weeks, part time. Now, The Boy’s first birthday is coming up a month from yesterday. It falls on a Wednesday, so we’ll hold the party either the weekend before or the one after. I informed dad of this last week. His response? “Well, if it’s on the weekend I can’t make it because I will be working on the weekends.” WTF, dad? Your grandson’s FIRST birthday, and you won’t even contemplate talking to your managers to see if you can move your shift around so you can come up for a day? It’s not like you have things going during the week that would prevent you from swapping shifts with someone. It’s a smallish town, and you know everyone you work with. I’m fairly certain that if you contacted some of them and were like “Hey, my grandson’s first birthday is X weekend, would you be willing to trade shifts with me so I can attend?” that someone would be willing. The managers where he works are pretty good about that too – I’m fairly sure if he asked them, BEFORE they made the schedule, that they’d work with him on it. But he won’t even TRY. SO VERY ANGRY at him right now.

And now, for the other things:

1) We had our first ear infection about a month ago. Wouldn’t you know it, the child has my tendencies for doing things right and cultured an infection in both ears at ONCE!

2) A week later, we had our first blood-inducing accident. He fell – off the step in the back, I assume – like he does at least a half-dozen times a day. This time, however, he must have landed wrong and used those teeth of his to cut his lip. He grunted, I looked over, and he was actually screaming so hard there was NO sound. Face red as could be. I hopped the fence to check him out, only to find a mouth full of blood. Cue mommy panic! Turned out to be a tiny cut, but damn did that bleed.

3) A week ago, he fell (again! I swear, he’s accident prone like his father) and bonked his head on the table. No big, right? Because he does it ALL the time? Not this time – he hit HARD. Goose egg, bruise, dent in the egg, everything. I took a picture, sent it to a fellow parent friend who ALSO runs a daycare, who figured it was probably alright but we might take him to the ER. I checked his eyes, which were dilating/fixing properly, and he wasn’t puking, so I called the on-call doc who advised keeping an eye on him and go from there. Child was fine – sore, but fine.

Dented head

4) AND we’re sick again. About the time that The Boy got his ear infections, Aaron got sick. After a week, he gave it to me. And I apparently gave it to the child. *thud* So starts the cycle of plague. Of course, I can’t just let him BE sick and let his immune system build. Nope. He gets to go on antibiotics because MIL has a compromised immune system and FIL is on oxygen and they can’t be exposed to this. Since MIL takes care of him once a week…yeah. Thankfully I have a still-relatively-happy baby when he’s sick.

Sick baby

5) I have a full-fledged walker. His balance is getting better (contrary to #2 and #3) and he walks all over the place. He’s starting to try and climb things. He’s gotten up on the couch twice (bad!) and I watched him try to get up there again today for about 5 minutes, all the while getting more frustrated because he knows he CAN. He climbs up on top of boxes but can’t figure out how to get down. See?

Mama, I’m stuck!

That’s the updates. Rants against dad, sick & mobile babies. Not much going on, really, and yet too much to have time to write!

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1 Comment

  1. He is such a cutie!! Ear infections suck. I hope he doesn’t start to get them constantly like I did. My youngest brother used to whack his forehead on the terrazzo floor when had a tantrum, and walked around with goose eggs like that half the time.

    I’m sorry about your dad’s behavior. I do kind of wonder if my mom would come up here if I were in labor. She attended all of my sister and brother’s ceremonies and graduations, but of course, education and career are WAY more important than family. At least in her book. I hope your dad realizes how much he’s hurting you, and makes some changes.


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