Jacked up

Before I got pregnant with The Boy, my cycles averaged 25 days, give or take 2 in either direction. The chemical pregnancy I had back in 2004 stretched it all the way to 31 days. I’ve missed a whopping one period in my life. I hear it’s normal to miss every so often, but I was 30 years old before I missed one. The only other “missing” one was when I got pregnant. I started back up in June of last year, when The Boy was about 2 months old. Probably earlier than most, but I wasn’t breastfeeding, so not surprising.

Everything was peachy – back to 25 days on average – until October. It didn’t show up when it should have – it was 2 weeks late. I knew I couldn’t be pregnant – we fixed that – but I still worried. And then voila – it arrived. February was 5 days early – not cool, body, not cool. This month? A full week early. My cycle was 18 days. I’ve been having trouble sleeping for the past 4 days or so. Too hot, too cold, can’t fall asleep, can’t stay asleep, waking up too early. I’ve had to stop taking my fibro/arthritis med because I ceased being able to swallow it without gagging on it and/or gagging it back up. I’m getting hot easier during the day – that is, when I can get warm in the first place.

My body has apparently decided that it wasn’t jacked up enough and made everything worse. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m pissed. I can’t decide if it might be a thyroid thing (mine has always been wonky, but not enough for them to actually DO anything) or if I’m going to go through menopause or what. I want to talk to the doc, but I’m afraid he’ll just tell me it’s normal or think it’s no big deal. When I missed my one period, that’s what the nurse person told me – oh, it’s normal, happens to everyone, no biggie. Yeah, lady? It is to me, since I’d never missed a single one before! Granted, that wasn’t MY doc or his nurse, that was the one on campus that I had to go to because I was in school…but still! If MY doc tells me that, I might have to bite him. He’s never been dismissive of me before, so not sure why I’d expect him to this time…and I don’t really expect it, I’m just worried he will. I’m scared, and I’m worried, and I’m mad, and I’m hopeless, and…

I have to go take care of a hungry, hungry baby. I’ll call the doc tomorrow, see when they can get me in. Have a happy Easter, if you celebrate it.

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