What if?

I am feeling very warpath-y of late. I blame the fact that I had a long discussion via text with my SIL about pregnancy and infertility and medical stuff, which I will hopefully make a post on later this week. I intend to, at any rate.

The what-ifs come on a different medical topic. A few weeks ago there was an ad on the radio with a bunch of symptoms and “if you have these, call us now for a free meeting”, and Aaron encouraged me to call, so I did. I had a meeting with them and it turns out that they are checking people for Hashimoto’s disease (which immediately made me think of Keiko). They wanted to run bloodwork, but I just had a workup for thyroid stuff done a few months ago, so they had me fax over the information from my regular doc. I have a meeting with them to discuss THOSE results on Tuesday, to see if they think I have this. I’d say I’d be skeptical if I did…

But look at the symptoms, and how closely they look like the fibromyalgia I was diagnosed with: Fatigue and sluggishness, increased sensitivity to cold, pale/dry skin, unexplained weight gain, muscle aches/tenderness/stiffness, especially in your shoulders and hips (emphasis mine, since that’s where I hurt the most), pain and stiffness in your joints and swelling in your knees or the small joints in your hands and feet, depression. These are all things (aside from the depression) that have been attributed to fibro…

But what if it’s not? WHAT IF it’s been Hashimoto’s all this time? What if they’ve been treating me for the WRONG THING? What if I’ve been putting all these drugs in my system, including the latest which is an old CHEMO drug, and it’s all been for naught? And look!

“Babies born to women with untreated hypothyroidism due to Hashimoto’s disease may have a higher risk of birth defects than do babies born to healthy mothers. Doctors have long known that these children are more prone to intellectual and developmental problems. There may be a link between hypothyroid pregnancies and birth defects, such as cleft palate.”

You know, that thing THE BOY was born with. Yes, it runs in my family…but what if that’s not what caused it? What if it was Hashimoto’s instead? What if the doctors had listened to me all these years as I told them over and over and over that “low normal” is not normal for our family? What if they had treated me, or sent me to someone who could? What if they had tested me for this? Why WASN’T I tested for this, if fibro is a “diagnosis of elimination” as my rheumatologist told me once? If they had done their homework, maybe my kid wouldn’t be having surgery in 2 months. Maybe I would have been feeling better by now (although I know that thyroid is finicky and meds are a bitch to get juuuuuust right).  Oh hey, guess what else? Low thyroid can cause libido issues. I’ve mentioned those before, I know – the fact that my husband may as well divorce me and find someone who actually puts out before he goes insane. I’ve mentioned low libido (which at this point has become “I just don’t give a fuck…literally”) to my doctors before, but have any of them taken me seriously? Apparently not.

I am upset. I am going to be way more than upset come Tuesday if it turns out this is what I have and have had all this time. There will be words with both current doctors. I will, however, be talking to the rheumatologist tomorrow to see what he thinks. Does he think this is a possibility or is this other doc just pushing the dx? If it is a possibility, why hasn’t he tested me? He’s a rheum, Hashimoto’s is an auto-immune disorder, it should only make sense that he would have tested me instead of just taking the word of other doctors that fibro is what was wrong with me when THEY don’t treat it. I know it will be a long road, but at least it will be the right one.

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2 Comments

  1. They should have checked. It was their job to check. They should have checked your levels as part of your OB workup too, so maybe call there for records.

    You can what if it to death, but it won’t change what is. Try to let it go a little so you can just move on from here.

    Reply
  2. At least it’s fairly easily treatable. Much more so than fibro. (I have the joy of having both.) I won’t second guess the docs. I wasn’t there. It would certainly be more than frustrating if they missed it and were mistreating you the whole time. But if that is it, then it’s very good news going forward. On several counts.

    Have to disagree with the “diagnosis of elimination” thing, though. I was given a definitive test back in the early 90s, and Mayo Clinic put me through it again quite recently. It simply involves the doc pressing on 18 specific pressure points. Fibro patients are incredibly sensitive at those points, and a marked reaction in a majority of them indicates a positive diagnosis of the syndrome. (I was 18/18 when I was first diagnosed. “Practically squirming off the table,” the doc said later. I’m doing much better now in that respect.)

    Whatever the case… good luck, and feel better. Keep us posted.

    Reply

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